Born Of Frustration
by KFlynn
Summary: The things that end up happening when two people can’t seem to get on the same page---now matter WHAT their hearts tell them! Can they get it together before it’s too late?


**Born Of Frustration**

_The things that end up happening when two people can't seem to get on the same page---now matter WHAT their hearts tell them! Can they get it together before it's too late?_

He stands in the park, staring off into the distance in front of him as the snow silently falls gently upon him and the earth. He feels rejected, and quite morose. Gazing off into the horizon before him, as he suddenly watched one of the most---if not THE most--- important person in his life walk away after she caught him in a terrible lie: being with someone else. He doesn't move---just stands quietly, as he lets the event of the last ten minutes run through his mind, feeling ever the fool for putting the scarf given to him by one girl around the neck of the one he was _supposed_ to meet for a date today. Instead of feeling he was doing something chivalrous, he feels like the town heel. _You certainly messed up big time, Rick!_, he cursed to himself as the images replay in his head like a bad movie:

"_Here—I don't need it. You seem to have wrapped it around the wrong person, haven't you? " _

"_Lisa—I can explain everything!"_

"_Here---take it! I recognize the perfume—it's Minmei's!"_

"_Um…uh…"_

"_So that was your 'personal urgent business', huh? Well that's just great, Rick! That's just terrific---don't bother calling me for another date!"_

"_Ugh.", (beginning to chase after Lisa)_

"_Hey! But Lisa, let me explain---it's not what you think! Lisa, wait! Please, wait!"_

"_Good BYE, Rick!"_

_What a fool I am! First Minmei, and now I've lost Lisa, too! Huh---how could I be so stupid?!_ He chided himself over and over again for blowing off Lisa—a woman whom he's just starting to really get to know—for Minmei, his so-called 'deep love' that he's harbored for years. He allowed himself a few more minutes of self deprecation before finally coming to his senses and seeing that he was becoming the human snowman. He started walking towards home…knowing that the days ahead were going to be hell. _Lisa isn't one to forgive easy_, he thought as he tugged his coat tighter to himself to stave off the shiver he was developing. Rick understood all too well that this little debacle of his would have serious ramifications in regard to their relationship. In particular, their communication during missions…it meant that Rick couldn't horseplay with her, or make jokes anymore. He knew that from here on out, she was going to be strictly professional…and that actually _pained_ him. Plus, she won't hesitate to chew him out should he say _anything_ in regards to _them_. _Nope…it's just back to following orders and keeping my big mouth shut!_ He acquiesced.

Rick finally got to his door…fumbled around in his pocket for his keys, and managed, stiff fingers and all, to get the door open. He gave himself a quick shake like a dog would to shake off itself when wet, to get any snow off him. He quickly closed the door, and hung up his coat. It was then he looked at the culprit around his neck---the dreaded scarf that was the downfall of his day…and probably more. He looked at it for a good minute or so, before removing it from around his neck. He then held it in his hand---staring at it---trying to make sense of it…what it meant to him…what it DID to him. He immediately thought of Minmei. How happy she was to see him, and what joy it gave her to give him the scarf. But in the back of his mind, he _knew_ being with her was wrong. _But it was __**Minmei**__! I'm lucky I even get to hear from her anymore_, he tried to rationalize to himself. However, it was of no use---he knew all too well of his horrendous mistake, and now he was paying the Piper for it.

He kept thinking of Lisa---and all the work she put into making this day special for _both_ of them. _She packed a lunch—especially made for us, I bet. And she waited…__**waited**__ for __**ME**__…ALL DAY!! And all I did was blow off our date---for Minmei. I'm such a fool!! _Rick was continuing to berate himself, not giving himself an inch of compassion. _I screwed everything up! Just when Lisa and I had spent the night talking about __**us**__, and how she felt about me_, as Rick was referencing back to about a week ago, on that rainy night, when he finally realized that Lisa had feelings for him. Although he wasn't sure of his _own_ feelings for Lisa, he knew it wouldn't hurt to see what would happen if they went on a date. _After all…it's not like Minmei's been available. She's off being the singing star we all know she is. But she's never seemed to EVER have time for __**me**__. _

It was that last thought that Rick had, as he was preparing a fire, heating up water for tea, and slipping into more comfortable clothes to hunker down for the evening, that started to get him angry. _I have wasted so much time on her! I feel like I've been this sick puppy dog following her around, hoping she'll notice me, and when she does…I'm just like a pet---NOT something she __**loves**__! _Rick was beginning to seethe a bit as he took the now hot water off the burner, grabbed a cup from the cupboard, and poured himself a cup of hot tea. He motioned his way over to his couch, setting down his cup on the coffee table before him. The fire was burning well now, and he was feeling warm and comfortable…at least as comfortable as one can be for a man who lost two women in one day.

_Why do I come running whenever she calls?!! _Rick wondered to himself…trying to figure out why it is that Minmei has this hold on him. _We've drifted so far apart, but the minute she comes calling, I drop everything! Is it really love, or just infatuation? _He was trying to piece together his and Minmei's history together, like some crazy puzzle that's had him baffled for years, to see if he can make sense of it. _I've been so devoted to her and for what? So I can be her shoulder to cry on, or the one that can provide her a comfort zone…a safety net. But does she love me? Has she ever been __**in love**__ with me?_ Rick pondered that question for quite some time---knowing what he knows about their past…from rescuing her on Macross Island, protecting her when they were lost aboard the SDF-1 for two weeks, or saving her from Khyron when she was kidnapped. And then there was Kyle…the _other_ factor in their relationship being what it is. _He's run her career and every other aspect of her life. It's as if she has no say so in her own life. How can I want to be with someone like that?_ Rick's frustrations with Minmei were beginning to grow, and he felt that his time with her today was nothing more than a big waste. _For wanting to see me, we resolved nothing! Kyle dragged her off, and she didn't express anything to me…nothing of substance, anyway. For all that, I wasted my day when I could've been enjoying a lovely afternoon with Lisa. _It was then that Rick just finally had enough. He was actually looking forward to a day with Lisa. Looking forward to getting to know the _real_ Lisa Hayes…the one she's kept hidden for so long. The one that's only popped up in short spurts for as long as he's known her. He was longing to see her let her guard down…see her really _emote_, and have _fun_. He's had an attraction to Lisa for awhile now…he just was afraid to act on it.

He sat back…wondering how he could make it up to Lisa. He at least knew he was going to get the proverbial cold shoulder for awhile. He came to the conclusion that he shouldn't press anything with her, and try to ease into things. _Lisa's important to me…maybe even more than I realize. If I want to get her back, I need to make a clean break from Minmei. It's obvious she doesn't love me…not like I've __**wanted**__ to be loved. But Lisa…I feel there's something there to explore. She's taken a chance on __**me**__-- it's time I do the same for __**her**__. _Rick slightly nodded to himself, determined to try and get Lisa back…to give what he feels is **their** chance at something real. But for that to happen, as he thought, he DID need to make a clean break from Minmei. It was then he looked over at the arm of the couch and saw the criminal scarf that he'd set down when he went to clean up for the evening. He looked it over again…knowing the damage **he**--and **IT**--caused. After staring a hole into it for a minute or two, Rick reached over and grabbed it, holding it in his hand like it was a lead weight. He could smell Minmei's perfume emanating off the cloth. He closed his eyes…and all he could see was the pain in Lisa's face. _A clean break_, he told himself.

He then promptly tossed the culprit into the fire…watching the flames rise in sinful satisfaction at their new sacrifice. As the flames danced in glee over the cloth as it turned black and fell to pieces, Rick took a slow sip of his tea, and stared out the window at the gentle snow falling outside.

_To be continued…_


End file.
